On needs, hopes and reality

Feeling like I've lost my way, I attempted to sort my room out this morning. Failing miserably at that, I picked up a book (which some might call the reason for said failure) and proceeded to read it for the next hour or two. An attempt to meet a friend for lunch failed due to the vagaries of the silent mode on cellphones; a message from a newly-met Malaysian friend drove me to Facebook; a subsequent feeling of loneliness and sexual frustration nudged me towards Literotica. Four hours and more passed in a haze of arousal and building frustration, interspersed with awkward but brief conversations with visitors to my room (putting me in mind of another time two days ago when the visitations were more frequent and my awkwardness was far more pronounced, due to the active role played by my recently-acquired vibrator in the situation). Release was eventually obtained, but didn't help remedy my mood.
Still feeling lost, unfortunately.
And the entire Lit session (as I am wont to call them) just made me realise how massively kinky I am - and perhaps how difficult it will be to find someone who can cater to my very specific needs. There's a fine line between sexy and gross, which I walk very often (though sometimes one is the other, for me, sigh) and which not too many people may want to or be able to keep up with.
It also saddened me greatly to find that CoatBoy is not, as I had hoped, single. He also appears to be a fairly decent human being. Sigh.. Now I really want to sever and incinerate my desire for him - for it will only bring me pain, as I don't wish a break-up on anyone, on principle. Sigh...
And I'm not entirely happy my ex-roommate is back on campus, either... she irks me. Meh.
I guess I just need to sit and figure my life out. Which is not a particularly attractive thought. I'd rather fuck around for a while.
But things don't just work out, as I've found.
Blast it.

*snicker*

Hm. Let's see, how do I make this not sound like what it isn't?
CoatBoy is a part of the group of people with whom I'm going for Harry Potter tomorrow.
*big grin*
Something to look forward to! :)
And yes, this is more than just insane physical attraction. But heck, I'm having fun.

Microblog: On things I've learnt in the past three weeks.

Since the 22nd of June, I've learnt:
- that vodka tastes good on a plane.
- that absinthe kicks vodka's ass.
- that dirty dancing with women is a helluva lotta fun.
- that Indian movie censorship is a real bitch.
- that wanting to get laid doesn't help you to get laid.
- that pancakes, doughnuts and cupcakes can be gourmet food.
- that gay men can be very, very attractive, and that you can forgive them their homosexuality because they're so good to look at.
- that I'm not as forthcoming as I believe I am. OR, that relativity is universal (i.e., I'm not easy in Oz, even if I might be in India).
- that walking into an adult store can make me go red in the face.
- that buying something in an adult store can make me blush more than I knew I was capable of blushing.
- that Australianised Indian boys can be very, very hot.
- that I feel happy when I see a lesbian couple showing affection and love for each other.
- that a skirt really can double as a dress.
- that I have a fatal weakness for Malteasers.
- that I say 'fuck' a lot when I'm talking to myself when I'm on my own.
- that I have a terrible sense of orientation, but can still read maps very well. :S
- that I can't help but be friendly to those around me when they're being the same.
- that I'm still having wet dreams about him.
- that apart from wet dreams, I don't think of him at all.
- that I really do want to lose weight.
- that I do have a great sense of style.
- that I'm capable of much more than I give myself credit for.